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Romance, or the Lack There Of

Date Posted: 02.17.08
Last Revision: 03.18.08

I am over 30 and I am still single. I have had meaningful relationships but I have not been close to marriage. I am not really complaining. Indeed, I am hesitant to complain because most of the time I am not even sure I want to change it. However, I am willing to evaluate it and think about what I really want.

The first issue is co-dependency. I have a hard time imagining a relationship because it seems like I always end up with men who need me way too much.

It occurs to me that my issues with co-dependence stem from responsibility. I have always been excessively aware of my own responsibilities. I always do my very best and work very hard at whatever it is I feel I have to do. i.e. I feel responsible for my students learning so I give them 110% all the time. When I am with a man, I don't want that much responsibility. I don't want to feel like the weight of his happiness is on my shoulders because then I will feel constantly responsible and weighted down by it. I want to be with someone who is willing to help me relax and not worry so much. I am given to very high anxiety and I need to be with someone who alleviates that, not someone who increases it.

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