Christian & Atheist Relationships

Date Posted: 01.01.08
Last Revision: 01.02.08

I have been reading Friendly Atheist. I came across an entry about a romance between a Christian and an atheist. I have struggled with this issue myself so I think it is worth consideration.

I don't see how a relationship between a Christian and an atheist can work. In order to explain why I feel that way I need to first define Christianity.

According to most dictionaries as well as common usage, the word "Christian" means "someone who follows the teachings of Christ." The Bible is generally accepted as the teachings of Christ. Some denominations may have additional scriptures, but I know of no Christian faiths that do not accept the Bible as the word of God/Christ.

If I accept this definition of Christianity then I can not consider those who "believe in God but not the Bible" as Christians. Personally, I think that is just lazy thinking. It allows them to have the benefits of faith (hope of future reward, ethical guidelines, etc) without the disadvantages of strict rules. It also allows them to claim a "Christian" label (though I consider it erroneous), which allows much easier integration into society than simply telling the truth and saying "I am not a Christian."

I admit I would have a much better view of someone who told the truth about their beliefs. It may sound harsh but I just don't see how the type of "Christian" I described can be considered truthful. I could go on about this in much more detail but I will make that another entry. (01.02.08)

I suppose a relationship between an atheist and this sort of pseudo-Christian could work. The Christian in the pairing wouldn't have to worry about following Biblical teachings. The atheist would have to have a positive view of faith ( at least they can't think it is absurd). It might be OK.

It wouldn't work for me because I have little respect for what I am defining as pseudo-Christian. I think people should have well defined, conscientiously considered beliefs. I would expect anyone who believed in a higher power but did not believe in Christianity to say so rather to claim a false label just because it's easier.

A traditional Christian is compelled to follow the Bible which very specifically states in Second Corinthians 6:14 "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" This is reason enough to make the relationship impossible for the Christian party. If the Christina party chooses to ignore these teachings then they are going against their avowed belief system which is hypocritical.

Personally I could not choose to be with someone who would profess beliefs only when they are convenient. This neatly eliminates traditional Christians as potential mates.

I don't even have to address the problems of cohabitation and child rearing. The difficulty reconciling opposing philosophies is enough to make a relationship between an atheist and a Christian highly unlikely.

I will add the addendum that I do not think this necessarily negates friendships between atheists and Christians. I do believe that the same issues affect friendships but I think the affects are much less intense. A friend can be a friend without having compatible belief systems. Friends can choose to simply avoid the issues that cause contention. They do not have to live together or raise children together.

Friends are also less restricted by Christian philosophy since the Christian party does not have to feel "unequally yoked" to a friend. They can always take the view that their continued association with the heathen atheist is influencing them and could potentially bring another follower to Christ.

I do think that the incompatibility often makes friendships more difficult. There are plenty of times when I want to roll my eyes at something a Christian friend says, but I have to remind myself that just because we garden together or have dinner on a Tuesday night does not mean I am invited to judge their life and vice a versa.

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